An Ideal Daughter- in Law

Who is an ideal daughter- in law? The one who doesn’t utter a word in front of her in laws, does all the house chores beside her job, never complains, never visits her maternal home, never eats or drinks any thing without taking permission from her mother- in law? I qualify most of the above said criteria, except the first one. I had an upbringing, where I was taught to say a wrong is wrong and you should say it without any fear. Here in my husband’s house, it is considered a sin to say anything against your elders, even if they are hundred percent wrong. And this rule applies not to the sons, but the daughters- in law.
Should the daughter in law have no aspirations of her own? I am not a career minded person. I like to be at home, it is my personal choice. But there are many daughters in law who had to give up their thriving careers because their in laws didn’t want them to work.
In our home it was a different case. My grand father saw to it that all his five daughters studied and got jobs ( all became primary school teachers). My mother was ‘chosen’ for my father because she was already working as a teacher. Though that’s a different story that after marriage, my mother had to give all her salary, each month, to my grand father.
So to be an ideal daughter in law, you must be ready to part with your earnings. But that is no guarantee that you will be treated with respect even after that. Even if the women earn, the household mechanism forces them to surrender their earnings to in laws. Those who don’t follow this unspoken rule are treated as lepers, outcasts. They are defamed as disrespectful, demanding, dominating and given an over all bad reputation among relatives.

Tags: daughter-in law